I have time to cry

Do you ever put your iTunes on shuffle only to have thee perfect song come on? I love when that happens because I think "Wow, something went right without me trying".

I was watching Grey's Anatomy earlier (which has now become my most recent TV show must-watch drama) and there was this patient who had seizures. They had put a brain map on her and George and Izzie were trying these different ways to get her to have a seizure because she simply wouldn't have one. They made her watching TV 2 inches from her eyes, and loaded her with espresso but neither worked. But when Izzie and George starting fighting she had a seizure. She had watched people fighting all of her life because she was a divorce attorney. Her life was watching people fight and having seizures. She wasn't having seizures in the hospital because she was happy for once. In the end, instead of having brain surgery to fix the seizures she decides to quit her job and live HAPPILY. Thats the treatment. Holy moly.

So I was watching this and it made me really miss my high school buddies and, dare I say it, school. God, I used to laugh to much with them. Now that I'm in college it seems to close to the time when I will have to find a reliable job, man and have kiddies.

I found all of these old photos from 1993, when I was one and my sister was four. They are so childish and fun. I'm either smiling in all of them or climbing on my sister like a jungle jim. I miss not working and not giving a shit about things. Children have it so lucky. I am incredibly jealous. Maybe thats why I miss working with kids, because it was my job to be funny and goofy with them. They loved nothing better than when I would chase them around on the play ground or "make dinner" in the sand box. It makes me think about my life. (sorry for writing such a serious blog. I'm really just writing pretty much anything that comes to mind).

I am studying to be a Communications and Graphic Design major. What the fuck am I going to end up doing though? I swear if I am designing the packaging for condoms I will go crazy.

The good thing though, is that I am way to committed to falling in love and going on adventures to have myself sit behind a computer messing about with Photoshop.

I really like to think that life is all about finding love. I know that may sound cliche but half of the things I think about are about being happy with someone. Maybe I just watch way to many chick flicks and think way to much about the perfect moments I have with Matt, not to say that we constantly have perfect moments because we don't but when my veins are roaring with anger over something or when I am on the verge of crying out a gallon of water it's the perfect moments that make me happy again. The LOVE that is there.

When Matt doesn't call me when he says he will I get sad, but other times he will call me at 3 AM to say his bed is too big without me and he misses me. Thats the annoying thing about love is you can't help it.

I haven't found my soulmate yet but I can't express to you how happy I will be when I finally do.

Song of the day: You don't have to cry by Crosby Stills and Nash

Something about the day

There is something about today that just completely sucks.

I woke up this morning at 9, after my phone alarm went off, then I sat up and waited for my alarm clock to go off (because I don't trust my phone). Maybe it was the fact that I actually had to get up and go to work that made today drab. I can't really decide. The weather wasn't all that bad. Colder than it has been I guess. I got to work and my coworker was there. Didn't do too much, made a couple of files, talked about the holidays and wished I had gotten a coffee on my way there. Maybe it's the fact that my new year resolution along with everybody else is to lose weight. Well who knows, I just know there's something about the day that's not sitting right with me.

I hate trying to lose weight. I'm actually at a healthy weight for my height so now its just aiming for that false idea of perfection. I tell myself I'm going to go to the gym after work (which I actually managed to do today) but it's a horrible wreck trying to get the motivation to work out for more than a half an hour. I think it might have to do with the fact that whenever I go to the gym its all these fit college guys in their tight tank tops and ripped muscles as an audience. I do not understand why people run for 10 miles, much less lift weights for an hour. Personally, all I really do at the gym is set a goal to burn about 100 calories and if I go over that HURRAH for me. That way when I manage to not be such a lazy bum I feel good about myself. It works.

I did burn 100 calories at the gym and then did free weights for about 2 and a half minutes. But then I got home and thought "well thats a shitty way to start my new year" or something much less positive along those lines and did a pilates/yoga video which I find much more awesome. Of course it was all for nothing because I can simply not deny myself mint chocolate chip ice cream. It is way to delicious to feel bad about eating, at least while your eating it.

There could be worse thing to suffer from. I would rather eat a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream as a youthful college kid that later when I'm 62 and have diabetes.

SOOO now that we've talked about weight I'd like to change the subject.

I just watched the Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya sisterhood. Completely and totally not what I expected at all. For some reason I was envisioning more Sisterhood the Traveling Pants kinda bull shit. This was actually hilarious because I feel like know people were like that as a kid. I mean, you gotta admit, your grandma probably did some pretty crazy stuff when she was a teen so it's fun to watch the memories of these people come to life. A lot of it was depressing, but the creative crowns they wear totally make it worth it.

Meal of the day: Dad's home made Mac and Cheese

Song of the day: Come talk to me by Bon Iver

Just sittin here

The cabin trip was amazing. The fact that Matt and I had to be alone with each other for a grand total of 3 ish days, was at first quite daunting. Matt kind of keeps his feelings to himself, which is the complete opposite of me. Well on most aspects anyway. I love talking to people and finding out new things, Matt knows a lot, its just hard to get him rolling on a topic. So, on the first night when we popped open a bottle of Yellow Tail I was really happy to have this passionate voice raising conversation with him. We were both getting really emotional about what we were talking about, and mostly for him, his past. Because of the minor drinking we had done I couldn't help but laugh as much, or more than he did. So it was an incredibly giggly crazy fun night. I would love to do it again, and I think we might be for new years (yay 2011).

We went hiking on Saturday with Raven. Well, in the morning I desperately needed coffee, and water (wine super demolished my hydration. I haven't been that thirsty since my backpacking trip in august). It was snowing, since we were up in the mountains. We went to this national park, found some cabins we are thinking about staying in over the summer and explore the park a little bit. I've enclosed a picture of the view while we were driving since I usually left the camera in the car.

On the way back home we had to stop to get gas. We decided to go to this small truck driver stop to get it, do not ask me why. I pull out my bank card (cause I didn't have cash) and the screwy machine is all screwy and being a pain in the bum. I started yelling at it..well to quote me I went "I hate country ass gas stations". Matt started cracking up because I walked off into the shop in my rain boots, leggings and coat. When I came back he told me he was "praying no one would come at him with a hunting knife". Yeah, cause that would be SOOOO different from where we live. Anyway, it provided ample laughter for about 20 minutes in the car ride.

Well now I've told you about my weekend.

I could tell you about Christmas, but really, it was just another Christmas. We all exchanged gifts, my sister stressed out about making a 16 by 14 inch gingerbread house, my mom crowded the kitchen with cooking, while I cleaned the rest of the house until family came over. Favorite gift? Probably have to go with this beautiful necklace my dad gave me. It's a turquoise pendant with two handmade metal rings around it. It's beautiful and I can't wait to wear it somewhere.

It's snowing here now. I think we are supposed to get quite a bit, but I don't really know. I was going to spend the night at Matt's but he was super tired cause he had woken up at 4 AM for work. So he went to bed at 7.30, I tried to sleep, but couldn't and left around 11.30. The roads were horrible. I was really happy to get home, I was starrrrvvvinngg. My sister and I watched a pretty bad film about Ted Bundy, the serial killer. Super messed up. I also watched a documentary about H.H. Holmes, the first serial killer in America, whom no one seems to have heard of. Check it out, yo! You gotta know these things for when you go on jeopardy.

It is now 2.31 AM, I am semi sleepy...and I think I might try to fall asleep now.

Write again soon, hopefully.

Love, Laura

Meal of the day: Clementines with Cereal

Song of the day: Turn me on by Norah Jones

holy moly

I haven't blogged in god knows how long. I really miss it. Okay, wait I lied because I totally have blogged, but its been for my Mass Communications class and I'm not to passionate about what I'm blogging about so I consider it homework. So much shit has happened, even though I feel like I'm not really living up to the college experience.

I've been watching crap tons of LA Ink, with Kat Von D and the crew. It's made me realize that I want a tattoo. I had been thinking about getting one for a couple of months, but seeing how much they mean to people and how fantastic of an experience it is makes me want to get one even more. I was watching one episode today that I was trying to hard not to laugh out loud to. This guy got a cheese tattoo, because he had recently become lactose intolerant and so he wanted to memorialize his past life with cheese. I know it's cheese, but he really loves cheese. There's this clip of him and he goes "provolone, SWISS. God it's all so good." and then he's like "I just really love cheese." And the way he says it is so sincere and so you end up thinking, "well, now I can't see why you wouldn't get a cheese tattoo" and of course Kim does an amazing job. At that point your like, well shit, you could get a tattoo of a crumpled paper and these people could make it look amazing.

So, what I am thinking for my tat is a sunflower with a few vines around it. It's definitely more simple, but I've always been simple. I remember when I was little my dad was reading to me in bed and noticed a necklace I had on, and he went "You really love those simple beautiful things in life" and its completely true. I do, and I really love sunflowers, when I see them it just makes me so happy and brings back good memories. I'm super excited, hopefully I do follow through with it (I already have a designated tattoo buddy), if I do I'll let yall know about it.

On a different note, Matt and I's one year anniversary is this weekend. SATURDAY. Holy shit. I really can't believe its been a year. Time flies. I've been really happy with him and he's definitely changed me as a person, in all the good kind of ways of course. Or at least I like to think so. We rented a cabin up in the mountains. It's real suave, got a kitchen, 2 bedrooms (TWO BEDS. YES.), and a bathroom. Ya know, all we need. It was pretty cheap, $100 a night, so we are splitting it dutch oven style. Wait, is it called dutch oven? I think it might just be dutch...Well, we are splitting it even. His dog, Raven, is coming along. I realize most girls would probably be like, "he wants to bring the dog on our anniversary trip" but honestly Raven is a lot of fun, he's full of personality and he makes me laugh even though Matt probably kisses him equally as much as me. He will be fun to have on our hikes and what not. Plus that way, when I fall on a rock and bust my leg Raven can stay with me while Matt goes and gets help.

Although I do have to say I am a little annoyed. I probably shouldn't post my super private life online but writing it all helps a lot, and my journal is underneath a stack of books hidden behind the journals of Dan Eldon and in the dust of my shelf. So, last night I had a great time with my best friend Sarah, we got Panera and talked like old times, it was a lot of fun. She left here around 8 to get back to her hubbie at home. She texted me throughout the night cause her and her boyfriend ended up going and hanging out at Matt's place. I know his work schedule, so I knew he got home at 9. He didn't call me till 11.30. I know it probably makes me sound needy and clingy, but I really don't feel that I am at all. I don't see him all week, we usually only talk on the phone for average of 10 minutes a day so it's like "Yo, got 5 to spare?" He called me and I was like "matt, I'm going to bed. We can talk tomorrow" and he was all upset because he hates upsetting me. Anyway, we are all good now and everything. I was just so excited to get a call from him once he got home from work, but he hasn't called yet and its almost 11. He probably won't call, he probably fell asleep.

ALRIGHT, that was huge coincidence. Right as I wrote that, guess who called. Yeah okay, brownie points awarded to Matt. Oddly good timing.

I went clubbing with Sarah a couple of thursdays ago. I had such an amazing time. I danced with some really fun guys and it was just a totally liberating experience because I am normally a shy, self conscious (to the max) person. I know that's completely unattractive to men because they like a "woman with confidence". I got thinking to myself, I don't know these guys, I'm never going to see them again. Let the fuck loose Laura. So I did. And there was maybe only 5 minutes I wasn't dancing with someone. Go me.

Alright, I was supposed to be doing Sociology homework right now and considering finals are in two weeks I should get to that.

Tell you how cabin weekend goes.

Love, Laura

Meal of the day: Everything bagel with cream cheese and Pumpkin Spice coffee (mmmhm)

Song of the day: The Orchard by SeaWolf. ( I am telling you guys, this band is AMAZING. Get it pronto.)

AMGIOS!

I have no excuse. Nope, I really have no excuse for why I haven't blogged. You all know about my first couple of weeks in college but so much has been happening. I made a best friend, Corrine dearest, who is absolutely ridiculous but a lot like me. We go on these "adventures" all over the place. Our first one was into the harbor, where we wondered about posing idiotically on the sides of bridges in "pin up girl" styles. She was much better at it than me..I just look really awkward. Then again, when am I not awkward? We have had some pretty fun saturday nights as well. I know I'm in college and its the party life blah blah blah, but we watch some horrible cabin fever movie, created a stop animation film, made tea, and had multiple riots of laughter SO tell me why I should go out to some frat house. But don't get me wrong, I can totally understand why someone would want to join the Greek Life. It, after all, does offer acceptance which I feel is pretty hard to find at my school, and it promotes a good cause usually. By good cause I mean breast cancer or children in third world countries. There actually was a frat on campus that see-sawed (yes, see-sawed) for 24 hours to promote colon cancer. Or maybe it was prostate cancer? Anyway, that was pretty big...I guess. Currently one of the sororities has been setting up a table outside every day, covered in pink things, with whip cream and a sign that says "PIE A ZETA". Its supposed to support breast cancer. I just don't especially have any sort of yearning to throw a pie at some girl for a dollar. A dollar is a lot of money, to me, right now away.

BUT, thats not gonna last long cause I got a job! YES. After months (OK a few days) of arduous hunting at a near by mall, I saw a flyer on campus for an administrative job. I snatched it off the bulletin board and emailed the link as soon as possible. I'll be getting paid 10 dollars and hour to file applications for a department on campus! So exciting! I start monday =]

This is a completely different topic, but sense I had been to China I hadn't ridden in a taxi. That is to say, I had never ridden in a taxi in the USA until last night. I got stranded at Target with Corrine. The target nearby is only about 2 miles away, but it was dark, past 10 and we were two girls with nothing but spaghetti-os (my new favorite food) and mace. So, after Corrine called me a wanker for about a half an hour I persuaded her to split a taxi cost with me. It was ten mother f**king dollars for 2 miles. O.O Can you believe that junk? Ridiculous. I will admit though, the ride was super pimped out, awesome interior and the driver even had a iPhone, which he decided to check his facebook on WHILE driving. Really, put my life and my ten dollars on hold for facebook, go ahead.

We are usually able to catch the shuttle back to campus, which is free for all students with their ID card. We, as usual, missed the shuttle and watched it zoom right on by us across the street. The first time this happened, Corrine and I were on our way to the shuttle stop. I looked up and saw the shuttle, then said "Hey..is that the shuttle?" Corrine just took off, looked back at me and went "Well run, FAT ASS". Holy crap, I have never laughed so hard whilst running in my life. It wasn't just the fact that a girl equal to me in sexy awesome body size told me to run, it was because she screamed "FAT ASS" like it was no one's business. Gotta love it. I wish you could have all been there to see us run like morons to the stop, and then sit on the bus for 10 minutes (while it was still at the shuttle... waiting for other passengers) and complain about how out of shape we are.

Since I came to college though I discovered these "group fitness classes". They are free and they are at night, both things making them awesome for me. I do Zumba, and Yoga. Tomorrow I'm trying "Ab Attack" which makes me want to run and hide. I don't have abs. I don't especially want abs. But I want to look and feel better, so thus I am making my body suffer. I have to be one of the people on the planet who hates ab workouts. I really do. I would rather starve myself for a week than do 15 straight minutes of ab workouts. Ugh. I'll tell you how that one works out.

I am completely obsessed with the show LOST. Really, I love it. I watched the first season in probably about three days. I'm on the fifth season now, and its the last one I have on DVD so I'm trying to take my time watching it. My favorite character by far is definitely Hurley, followed closely in second by Charlie, and then Desmond right behind him. I love Hurley because he is so jovial, and if I were stuck on the island I'd definitely want a Hurley around. The episode where he drives the beat up shag van into the valley completely captured my every thought. And when he made it to the bottom and the van started I literally laughed right along with him. Charlie of course is my favorite because he's so protective of Claire (awesome as well) and sits around playing his guitar all the time. And what girl isn't going to love Desmond? He is willing to do anything to get back to Penelope. Has a super sexy Scottish accent, and is over all just a good guy.

Might have to go watch LOST now. =]

P.S. sorry about typo-s, I'll edit later =]

Meal of the day: Spinach salad with strawberries and pineapples

Song of the day: Shambala by Michael G.

The orientation and "oh shit, im supposed to be there" times

I haven't written in ages, but its mostly not because I haven't had time. I've just been running around doing pretty much pointless things with only minor goals but they ended up being fulfilling.

I s'pose the most exciting thing I have done recently is moving into my dorm room and beginning to live the "college life". I luckily got to move in a COMPLETE day early so I didn't have to deal with lines and lines of carts and people waiting to use the elevator to get to their rooms (yesssss). And I discovered I live on the fifth floor, so in reality walking up 5 flights really isn't all that bad. I'm living in a forced triple, aka a double with three people instead of two. I know it sounds bad, but its not really. The room is pretty spacious and we all have dressers and closets to put our things in.

Tonight I'm going to a jazz concert in the union with some new friends and my boyfriend. Should be an adventure! I'm still discovering my way around campus....the only building I'm really familiar with is called Van Bokkelen (in my mind Van B) and that's because that's where I had my orientation sessions. Unfortunately, it is a pretty hidden and badly displayed building so it took me forever to find it thus causing me to look like an ass when I walked in late while everyone was playing "ice breaking games". Thats okay, I don't wanna break ice anyway xP

The first night I was here I got ridiculously home sick, called my best friend (Sarah) who was babysitting at the time and begged her to pick me up. She came as soon as she got off, which was at midnight, and we ventured out back to home. I ended up chilling with some old friends until four in the morning, eventually got back to my dorm, which was pitch black and silent, had to somewhat loudly open the door and use my cell phone as a light to find my bed. Woke up at 8 to go to orientation, had a pretty nonchalant day. Nonetheless, when night rolled around again I got homesick (again) my sister picked me up, and I traveled my way back home (again). Watched "Through the worm hole (featuring Morgan Freeman)" with Matt, who brought me back at the much decent-er hour of one. So tonight I have challenged myself to actually stay on campus. *deep breathes* I just have to remember I'm not the only one who has no idea what to do with themselves yet. phew.

blog again as soon as possible.....which may be a while since classes start wednesday!

Meal of the day: Golden Graham cereal with a banana

Song of the day: I would walk 500 miles by the Proclaimers

A long long while

Well, i havent written in a long long while. Its summertime, and the livin's easy.

Last weekend I had quite a journey. Me and matt were hanging out with some of his older brothers friends. We watched the ridiculous movie "Iron Monkey 2" and his buddies made some hilarious jokes. "Wait, I know! THEYRE ALL IRON MONKEY!" "Whats the crazy old guy doin? walking down the street bangin his sticks" and the obvious "aweee*high pitch*" like we all just realized what the movie was actually trying to get across. It was rather fun. Ben pulled the old TV outside and so we all sat in lawn chairs (or in my case on a stair on the deck) and watched this movie together while Raven, their dog, continually ran up beside you and got you soaking from when he'd gone swimming in the pool.

Once the movie had lost its thrill we all decided to start playing 3 man. Its a drinking game, and seeing as I am horrible at explaining such things if you dont know what it is, google it. I had a fantastic time, only wore the "hat" once and laughed my ass off at the 26 year old guys crackin jokes at each other. They all went off to play horseshoes ( or at least try to) and I stayed back with Matt and had a fantastic conversation that he didnt remember the next day. But, its okay I realize now that I am really lucky to remember it, even though he doesn't know it happened.

End of my story: I got home at 6.20 AM and watched the damn sunrise as I drove across the highway. Slept till 1 PM and went to work at 3. Hoo-rah.

Work's been a bitch lately. We have this new kid named Nitin (pronounced like Knit-in) and his stubborn two year old butt demands to stand by the door and scream for a full on day. When you try to hold him, he kicks, eventually gives in, and proceeds to scream in your ear. "Well geez Laura, he's only two years old." Mmmmhm, well lets see you do it for 2 and a half hours.

Theres also so romance in Baja Fresh Land! Two of my darling co-workers have found themselves smoking cigs all the more often out back, and it seems to me and my manager that they are slowly staring to click. It brightens the mood around the place, especially after your staring at chips for four hours.

I have decided I'm going to Russia next summer during July. I need a Russian penpal...anyone???

Meal of the day: Portobello Mushroom sandwich

Song of the day: Vagabond by Wolfmother (aka Matt's song)